


karma

by wispyukhei



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Cheating, Cunnilingus, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Smut, angsty smut, i just don't want this in my drafts anymore, i'll write gay shit soon Promise, mark eats pussy like a pro, moonlight is just a club they all go to nothing too deep, thats it enjoy luv luv
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-20
Updated: 2018-11-20
Packaged: 2019-08-26 19:33:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,510
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16687609
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wispyukhei/pseuds/wispyukhei
Summary: love is tricky.





	karma

**Author's Note:**

> so um hey! i originally had this on tumblr but they terminated my blog so i'm posting her here!! i'll most likely post a few other works i had on my blog on here just so i don't lose them :)

“We don’t have to go to the club every night.”

You rolled on your side watching him sit up, scratching his exposed back with a quiet hum. Mark let his head fall back at the sensation, his hands rubbing his own shoulders as he groaned softly. You two just woke up from a nap that was suppose to last only an hour, but when you two woke up the sun was setting. You assumed Mark forgot to set the alarm he promised he’d set, you didn’t really care though, you loved sleeping with Mark.

“I feel like I should help Taeil out. We did fuck up the bathroom–”

“We didn’t fuck it up. You just came everywhere.” You deadpanned with a dry laugh feeling his back rise and fall hearing his laughter soon follow.

“Don’t act like you didn’t make a mess too. I made you–”

“Okay, okay, shut up. That was one time and I hated it. I was so embarrassed.”

Mark turned towards you with a taunting smirk on his lips, you slid your hand up his chest groaning softly at how warm he was. You curled yourself up into a fetal position, your knees pressing against the bottom of his spine. He laid back down rolling onto his side as he wrapped his arm around your waist, pulling your chest against his making you blush softly.

“We can stay here for a few more minutes.”

“Few more hours.” You hopefully corrected feeling him laugh softly, running a soothing hand up and down your back. “Maybe an hour. I should really go and help out.” He whispered his voice already getting tired and heavy again, you wrapped yourself around him with a groan of protest.

“You’re so needy and clingy.” Mark teased slowly rolling on top of you to press his lips to your temple. You pressed your hands against his stomach, splaying your fingers out with a small smile as you glanced up at him. 

“It’s because I like being with you.” You simply rebuttal as you wrapped your legs around his torso, his shirt falling down to expose your thighs making you laugh softly.

“I think you just like my dick.” He’s obviously teasing but you rolled your eyes anyway, turning your head away from him with a small chuckle. If you stuck around for Mark’s dick, you would’ve left along time ago. 

Even though you liked being with Mark, you enjoyed being his girlfriend and all the perks that came with that, but you couldn’t get over the fact that you two just didn’t fit together. Kissing him was messy and uncoordinated, when you two danced together he was always one beat behind, and sex, oh god, sex took forever to get right. You were grateful you two got to this point. But you loved Mark, you loved him so much, you wanted to this to work out so bad, you wanted to be like Taeil and his wife, they were so perfect and happy, you wanted that.

“If that’s the case you’re just here for my pussy.” He laughed loudly, pressing his face into the crook of your neck still laughing. 

“I mean…” He trailed off with a shrug making you gasp shoving him playful only making him laugh more. 

“You’re so annoying, Mark.”

“Mmm shut up.” He teased sitting up between your legs, his eyes read of mischief and something else you couldn’t read. That look made your stomach twist. You swallowed thickly, resting your hands on your stomach waiting for him to make any type of move. He just dragged his fingers up and down your exposed thighs humming softly.

“I wanna eat you out.”

Your eyes widened a little bit at that, holding tightly onto your shirt before letting your legs close with a small shake of your head. 

This was going to sound bad, but it was the truth. You couldn’t have sex with Mark sober. It was awful. It felt weird and unnatural, there was a disconnect that neither one of you would talk about. You two had the fundamentals of a healthy relationship, but things were just off. He knitted his brows together looking down at you, he sighed quietly before rolling off of you running a hand through his hair. 

“No?”

“I’m sleepy, Mark.” You whispered looking over at him. You weren’t technically lying, you were sleepy.

He opens his mouth to say something but closes it after a second of contemplation, taking a deep breath through his nose before rolling on his side to wrap him around you once again. He nosed at your cheek a little, pressing the softest kiss to your cheekbone his eyes staring at your lips. You turned your head towards him, your nose rubbing against his making you smile sweetly your eyes fluttering shut peacefully.

“I’m gonna go to Moonlight. Help set up, get some good shit for us, and we’ll have a nice night together when I get back. Sound nice?” You nodded a little at that offer, leaning in to kiss him quickly before nuzzling his nose softly. He stared down at you humming softly giving you a soft kiss on your lips, sitting up leaving you cold and alone. You were content though. You liked being alone.

You turned your head towards your boyfriend, cheeks tinted pink as he turned his back towards you. You raked your nails down his back watching hm arch away from you, a quiet giggle filling the room as he pulled his shirt on. You rolled away from him, pulling the blanket over your head to mute the sounds of him pattering around the room to find his pants. 

“You want me to bring home food?”

You pulled back the blanket to look at him standing in the doorway, soothing down his black shirt down making you smile graciously.

“You know me so well.” You smiled putting your hand out which he took with both hands without hesitation, his thumbs kneading into your palm making you smile softly curling your fingers to encapsulate his fingers in your hand.

“You got your key?”

“Yup.” He assures lifting your hand to his lips, pressing gentle kisses to your knuckles.

“How long are you going to be gone?”

“An hour, maybe, two at max.”

“I’ll miss you.” You whispered looking up at him with big eyes watching him bite the inside of his cheek as a smile grew on his lips. He simply kissed your hand once again as he dropped your hand. He leaned down to press his lips to the top of your head, you smiled sweetly up at him as you wrapped your arms around your pillow.

“I’ll miss you too, baby. I’ll be back soon.” With that he walked out of your apartment leaving you alone. 

There wasn’t much to do when Mark wasn’t around. You could sleep some more, you could clean around the house a little bit, maybe you could do some laundry, you scratched the back of your head sighing softly as you sat up looking around your drab room. Your apartment was always freezing, you liked it like that, it felt more like home when it was cold. The hardwood floor was cold beneath your feet as you stood up, running a hand through your messy hair sniffing softly. You’ve lost a lot of motivation nowadays. You could barely get up without struggle, maybe it’s because you felt a little trapped. You knew why you felt trapped, but you’d never say it. You swallowed thickly looking at the full laundry basket, biting your bottom lip softly knowing you should do it, but you just climbed back in bed throwing your blanket over your head.

///

You felt better when you were high. You felt better when you smoked with Mark. You were laying between his legs with your back against his chest, lifting up the nearly finished joint to hold it up to his lips. You felt Mark’s chest rise against your back as he took the last hit from the blunt, his hand resting on your stomach making you smile softly. You put the finished blunt in the ashtray, letting your head fall back onto his chest. Your hands slid across his thighs humming softly as you squeezed the muscle softly, your head tipping back to look up at him laughing dumbly.

“What are you laughing about?” Mark teased pinching your cheek playfully laughing along with you for a second. You rolled on you stomach to crawl on top of him biting your bottom lip when you looked down at his glossed over eyes. His eyes. God, you loved his eyes. You saw so much love and innocence in those eyes. You loved them. You loved him.

“You’re just…super cute.” You chuckled leaning down to kiss his forehead making him laugh a little bit, eyes shutting when your lips came in contact with his. Kissing Mark while high was magical. It was together, synchronized, warm and wet, you loved kissing Mark when you were high. He held tightly onto your hips with one hand while the other messily tangled in your hair, keeping you locked in your spot.

You two stayed like that for a few minutes slowly kissing each other, tongues sliding against each other every once in awhile, your hands intertwined on the back of his neck keeping him as close as possible. He tore away with a wet pop, humming softly as he shoved his hands up your shirt blinking up at you as his hands skimmed up your stomach to take your breasts in his hands a soft smile forming onto his thin lips. You looked down at his hands, laughing quietly at the imprint of his hands through your shirt, his laugh ringing through your ears as he quietly massaged your breasts.

“I like touching you.” He mumbled licking his lips slowly, slender fingers playing with the lace of your bralette. His hands leaving your shirt to hold onto the back of your thighs, groaning softly at how soft and plush they felt in his hands looking up at you.

“I want you to smother me with these thighs. Holy shit.”

“Oh my god, Mark. Calm down.” You giggled letting him smack your thighs a few times, laughing a little at how entertained he was by doing this. He squeezed the flesh rhythmically for a few moments, a soft smile on his pink lips as he looked up at you with big hazy eyes. 

“Let me eat your pussy, baby.” Mark whispered smirking a little at the way your jaw slightly dropped at his bluntness. 

“So much for calming down, huh?” You teased pinching his cheek a little before crawling off his lap to stand up with a grunt, looking at your small couch and skinny boyfriend before looking at your bedroom. 

“Alright, let’s get it.” You simply state before pivoting towards your room hearing him laugh at your choice of words. “Let’s get it.” He echoes after you as he quickly following after you, shoving you playfully into the dark cold room his hands tightly holding onto your hips. You tipped your head back when you laughed at his dumb antics, the back of your head resting on his shoulder making you stumbled a little bit.

You let him guide you onto your bed, falling onto your squeaky mattress keeping your eyes on his lips as he settled between your legs wasting no time to collide your lips together. You loved how his lips felt against yours, you loved how you two worked together, you loved the inner mechanisms of your relationship, how in sync you two could be. 

You loved Mark when he was high.

He wasted no time taking your pajama pants off, pulling your hips to the edge of your bed biting his bottom lip at how easily you let him manhandle you. You pushed yourself on your elbows to watch him drop to his knees, your core aching at the sight of your boyfriend on his knees for you. You were pretty sure you had already soaked through your panties from when you two were making out earlier, but seeing him in this position was so unbelievably arousing.

“I love these.” You heard him whisper as he ran his fingers over the pale pink ruffles before finally pulling them off. He quickly dove between your legs, one hand pushing you onto your back. Mark’s jaw hinges wide, trying to get all of it in his mouth at once. His tongue drags over your wet slit, collecting your arousal on his tongue. Most of it does make it on his tongue, but the rest of it finds a home on his lips and chin. Which is due to the severe arch of your back following the contact, your hands snapping up to tangle into his dark locks.

It was like Mark was made to eat pussy. Even when you were sober, it was a phenomenal feeling to have his head between your legs. The way he just gives it his all, sloppy and wet, God, he’s so reckless when he’s eating you out. You let out a choked up whimper, lifting your head to watch him for a moment before falling back with another whimper, this one a little louder and freer.

You pushed Mark’s face deeper between your thighs, rocking you hips back and forth on his pretty face. You squeezed your eyes shut as he tugged harshly at his locks, feeling him moan against your core before pulling away slightly. He didn’t bother wiping the glistening wetness on his chin, wrapping his hands around your ankles guiding each of your legs over his shoulders. Your hips are now lifted, and Mark grabs at your lower back, keeping them in the raised position. You can see him better from this angle while he had better leverage to your dripping cunt, and once he’s finished adjusting, his face is right back to where it was before.

He laps at the quickly growing mess with fervor, long licks with a flat tongue. The tip catches against your clit and you let out a heavenly gasp, lifting your head to look down at him jaw dropping as you watched your boyfriend work his tongue against your core. You buck your hips from underneath the heat of Mark’s mouth, beginning to grind you pussy hard against his mouth. Mark hums again, moving to curl his tongue inside of your fluttering hole, his nose pressed deep against your mound making your cheeks burn brighter than they ever have before.

“Fuck, Mark,” You pant, soft and delicate, and you watch Mark’s pretty doe eyes fly open. “Yes—fuck, you’re so fucking good at this, oh my god. It’s so good baby. Fuck, please, Mark, please don’t stop—”

“Holy fuck, you’re a fucking dream.” He groaned pulling back a little to slide two slender fingers into your wet heat easily, watching your face crumble as he does so your hands dropping to your sheets to hold tightly onto them. You feel him adjust till he’s centimeters away from your face, making your head lull to the side whimpering loudly.

“You feel good, baby?” You hear him ask feeling his nose press against your cheek, your chest heaving as you nod dumbly.

“So––Oh my god––So fucking good.” The shaky praise has to strike something in him, because he moved his fingers faster. 

He knows your body almost too well at this point. So, when he crooks his fingers a little to the side, you’re gone. You whine, powerless, your legs spread wide for the one boy you would do anything for. 

Fuck, you were so in love with him.

Your mouth is open and you’re panting, eyes lidded. “Oh—oh, oh f-fuck, oh my god—” You squealed feeling him grab your face with his unoccupied hand messily crashing your lips together. You could taste yourself on his lips, on his tongue, you were everywhere, you were so overwhelmed by everything going on around you, you could feel your body begin to shake a little. Mark pounds into you, your pussy tightening around his fingers, moaning obscenely into his mouth.

“Holy shit,” You swear, taking it. You sob and you back arching, then you gush everywhere, squirting all over his hand, your own thighs, and your sheets. You’re chanting his name like it’s gospel, tears cascading down your cheeks feeling him pant against your wet lips, his forehead bumping yours when he looks at his glistening hand.

“Oh my god––Holy shit––You squirted again. I told you––”

“S-Shut up.” You whine loudly feeling your face get redder than before, more tears running down your cheeks. You can’t tell if it’s because the life changing orgasm you just had, or if it’s because you just ruined your sheets. 

“You’re so incredible. That was so hot. You’re so hot.” He scattered kisses across your face. Mark lowers you legs gently. Your chest is still heaving, and opening your eyes slowly, looking completely fucked out. Mark smiles lazily at you, pressing a fond kiss to the inside of your ankle. 

You let your eyes finally shut. You can hear him move a little bit, he positions your legs to where they are just pushed up and bent at the knee, your chest aching a little at the lost of contact lifting your hand weakly feeling him lace his fingers with your’s after a second.

“Let me fuck you. Please––”

“Please. Just fuck me.” You mumbled feel him let go of your hand to wrap his fingers around your waist, flipping you over till you were on your stomach. You whined loudly at the feeling of your cold wet sheets against your stomach, squirming a little as he pulled your hips up groaning softly as he pressed his hips against yours. He easily slid into you, groaning loudly as he sheathed himself in your smooth pussy pressing his face against your back. 

“You’re so fucking wet. God, you feel so fucking good. Missed this. Missed this so bad.” He rambled fucking into you with no regard, but perfect precision and a quick paced rhythm that overwhelmed you instantly. You buried your face into your arms, little gasps and whimpers leaving your lips at the quick and hard fucking your boyfriend was putting you through.

His lips dragged up your spine, attaching to your neck with a quiet groan. He hooked his arms under your arms to grab your shoulder, lifting you up off the mattress to fuck you harder than he was before. You rest your hands on top of his, breathing picking up at the pricking sensation running through your body. 

“You––You only let me fuck you when you’re high.”

The pleasureful pricking turned into a painful pricking in an instant, digging your nails into his wrists whining loudly trying to ignore the heavy ache in your chest.

“Why––Why?”

You squeezed your eyes shut tightly, clenching around his cock trying to get him to stop talking, to get the spotlight off you even just for a moment. And it worked. Just like you knew it would, you knew how easy it was to get Mark off your back, because Mark was weak and you used that to your advantage. Scummy but true. You just let him use you till he was painting the canvas of your back with ribbons of opal, heavy breathing and deep breathing filled your room, the air still bitingly cold as you kept your tearstained cheek pressed against your mattress waiting for him to do something.

“Can you answer my question now?”

You paused. His tone was so soft, so raw, and so delicate, you almost wanted to give him a real answer. 

“I’m tired, Mark. I––I want to sleep.”

He paused. Slowly pulling out of you, holding onto your hip with a soft sigh giving up on the topic. You hoped. You wiped under your eyes taking a deep breath, no longer feeling his presence behind your or his hand on your hip. He was back in a matter of moments, he mindlessly wiped his cum off your back before pulling your shirt back down. 

Your high was gone, you imagined his was too, now you were just left bent over your bed your own wetness dripping down your thighs. He wiped your thighs down with the dry rag, you looked up at the wall in front of you, brows furrowing at the rough and careless sensation between your legs.

“Do you want me to stay?” He asked resting his hand on your side, his voice rang of something you couldn't quite pinpoint. Shakily you pushed yourself up to stand, tugging on your underwear and PJ pants with a loud swallow. 

“Of course I do. Why would you even ask?” You try to keep the conversation light, ignore the heavy atmosphere around you two, staring at the wet spot on your sheets in contempt.

“You seem to be sober now. Had to check.” He replied shortly walking away from you to his side of the bed. That felt like a stab in chest, you weren’t going to lie, but you ignored it with a bite of the inside of your cheek. You crawled over the damp patch, you could change the sheets in the morning, automatically tucking your under his arm pressing your cheek against his chest.

Mark lays motionless for a second, his doe eyes looking up at your ceiling before wrapping his arms around you taking a deep breath. You held your breath waiting for him to say something, bring up what you’ve been avoiding for months, and you would have to tell him all you’ve been harboring for months.

“I love you.”

It’s hallow. It’s barely there, but you still accept it. It’s better than addressing the elephant in the room.

“I love you too, Mark.” 

Your’s is nearly as hallow as his, but he accepts it by pressing a soft kiss to the top of your head. 

It was a restless night.

 

_**[ Friday ; 10:45 PM ]** _

 

The next time he asks you it’s in front of your friends. You’re sober and he’s drunk, he rarely ever gets this drunk, but he briefly told you about how shitty his day was but then left it at that. His head was in your lap as you sat next to Yukhei, his arm slung over your shoulders lazily his eyes casted down on Mark who rambled about all his problems. 

“We haven’t had sex sober in months.”

“Mark. Please.” You snapped running a hand through his brown hair, swallowing thickly at his revelation feeling your cheeks burn when Yukhei and Jaehyun’s eyes fall onto you two. You glanced around the dimly lit back room, seeing Johnny holding onto his girlfriend’s hips as he leaned back into a corner smiling down at her as she talked about something you couldn’t hear. 

They were so in love. It was borderline sickening.

You turned back towards Mark, tuning back in to his rambling about how you neglected him unless you fucked up. You nearly tuned him out again, your hands idly running through his hair, a soft sigh leaving your lips as you thought about the drive home. How Mark would most likely pass out in the passenger seat, and you’d have to basically carry him up the stairs to your apartment. You were getting more annoyed at the thought.

“We only fuck when she’s high. ‘Makes me think she hates fucking me––”

“Shut up, Mark. They don’t want to hear about our sex life.”

“I don’t mind.” Yukhei smirked pinching your shoulder, you made a disgusted face looking up at the boy really noticed how close you were to him. You could make out every detail on his face, how he needed to shave soon, you could see all the imperfections he didn’t have. Fuck, Yukhei was was really pretty. Your cheeks lit up a little bit, turning away quickly looking down at you boyfriend sighing heavily.

Everything was a mess. You felt weird thinking about Yukhei like that. You shouldn’t think about other boys like that, especially Yukhei, he was a whole dumbass, but most of the guys here were. Plus, you loved Mark. You did. You really did, even though he was being an annoying whiny drunk, you still loved him.

But Yukhei was so pretty and so, so, tempting.

“She doesn’t like me when she’s sober. I think–I think she’s bored with me and my dick.”

You stopped verbally responding, your hands dropping from his hair one resting on Yukhei’s thigh as one rested on Mark’s chest. Some type of electricity surged through you as your eyes fell onto your hand, watching as your fingers skid across his large thigh, your head tilting a little bit at how…alive you felt at this little action. Yukhei’s round eyes were trained on the side of your head, probably waiting for you to look up at him or at least acknowledge that your boyfriend’s head was in your lap and stop touching him, but you didn’t. 

Slowly your felt his hand wrap around your wrist, guiding your hand up, your heat rate picking up when your hand skid up past his hips to rest on his warm chest feeling his own heartbeat. You tilted your head down at Mark, your other hand skidding up his chest to rub soft circles on his cheek watching his eyes flutter shut. Your head snapped up when you felt something warm wrap around one of your digits, your large eyes locking on Yukhei’s plump lips wrapped around your dainty finger feeling his tongue swirl around it.

You were pretty sure you were crossing a line. You had to be. This wasn’t right. But it felt so nice. You looked up into his eyes, swallowing thickly up at him when you realize he’s been waiting for you to look at him. There was this unknown feeling rising in you, it made you feel light and airy like you were floating, you really really liked it. 

“I want to go home.”

You hear Mark groggily tell you. You jerk away from the boy beside you to focus back to your boyfriend, cheeks flushed and eyes wide, as you nod quickly running a hand through his hair soothingly staring down at his closed eyes.

“Let’s go home, baby.” You whispered leaning down to press the softest quickest to his forehead, helping him sit up rubbing his back softly. Mark stumbled a little as he stood up, rubbing his eyes as he went off to get his jacket. You weren’t far behind him, but a hand wrapped around your wrist making you look back swallowing thickly when you looked at Yukhei, his lips tilted up in a smirk at your slightly disheveled expression.

“You got my number, yeah?”

You nodded with a little hum.

“Text me and we’ll work something out. It’s up to you.” And with that he let go of your hand and you walked away with an uneasy feeling in your stomach, but you still went over to Mark wrapping your arm around his waist and leaving Moonlight with quick goodbyes.

You took him to your apartment, undressed him till he was in his boxers so he could be more comfortable, laid him down on your bed, watching his exhale loudly as he rustled around to get comfortable. 

You should feel guilty. You should feel like shit. You borderline cheated on your boyfriend tonight. You should feel disgusting, why don’t you feel any of that?

You felt nothing.

 

_**[ Sunday, 4:32 PM ]** _

 

_You: hey, yukhei, it’s me. i want to work something out. whatever that means._

_Yukhei: hey! we could hang out tomorrow if you want and we can take it from there. if that works for you?_

_You: yeah that works for me! i get out of classes at 9 if you want to come over around 11 that’d work great :)_

_Yukhei: that’d be perfect i’ll see you then :)_

 

**_[ Monday, 12:32 PM ]_ **

 

“Your lips taste so good.”

“I’m wearing Lancôme lip gloss, isn’t it nice?”

“Super nice.” He groaned diving back in to crash his lips to yours with reckless abandon, hands holding tightly onto your cheeks moaning softly into your mouth making your back arch up into him. This was so fucking nice. And bad. Really bad. You weren’t just teetering on the edge of cheating, you were fully cheating now and you didn’t plan on stopping. You were sober. You were sober and doing something reckless, crazy, hurtful, damaging to everything you built around you, but you loved it.

“When does he get back?”

“We don’t really hang out on weekdays. He stays at his dorm at uni.”

“Oh,” his eyes rise from your bruising lips to your eyes a soft smirk forming on his lips, “you’re just lonely, aren’t you, angel?” a chill ran up your spine at his words batting your lashes up at him with small nod. Wow, who knew it would be Wong Yukhei to make you realize how lonely you were in your relationship.

“I’m so lonely.” You whispered your hand running your hand through his dark hair, tilting your head up to nuzzle your nose against his. He hummed a little at your soft words, his long finger running down the bridge of your nose before letting it run across your cupids bow.

“I’m here now, angel. Don’t worry, you’re not alone anymore.”

You weren’t alone for now. Eventually, Yukhei would leave, you would be alone, Mark would text you, you’ve two have a dead end conversation, but still you’d be alone. 

But this was a nice fantasy to fall into. You don’t know how it would end, if it would end, you didn’t care about details right now.

“You’ll take care of me?” You whispered watching his brows furrow a little bit at your soft words, but he nodded his head none the less.

“Of course I will.” He pressed a soft kiss to your temple before pulling himself up looking around the rest of your apartment.

“You want to go to your room? Love your couch and everything, but it’s pretty fucking cold in here.”

“My room is colder. I like the cold, it tighten your pores.”

“Is that why your skin feels like ice?”

You blushed a little turning your head away from him with a small shake of your head. You wrapped your arms around his neck, wrapping your legs around his waist.

“If you carry me there we––”  
He didn’t even hesitate before lifting you up chuckling up at you, standing up with you wrapped around around him grunting a little as he held tightly onto the back of your thighs. He carried you to the door, you looked over your shoulder to check what door he was about to go in, quickly shaking your head looking down at him.

“Wait, wait, wait––That’s the bathroom. Bedroom is on left.” You laughed stepping down, your hands resting on his shoulders as you led him over few feet to the door next to the bathroom opening it up for him. You let him in first, watching him make him flop down on your bed, patting his chest waiting for you to join him. 

It was weird how natural this felt. It was like it was meant to happen, which was a weird way to put it, but this felt okay. Yukhei was like a human heater, your icy body absorbing his heat like a sponge humming softly when you felt his large hand skid up under your shirt instantly warming your whole body. 

Things moved rather quickly after that. You were on your back, he was between your legs, clothes tosses around haphazardly, the kisses getting messy and and sloppy, your nails digging into back, his nails digging into your now exposed thighs. You haven’t felt this alive in months, and it was all because some tall boy you knew little to nothing about was between your legs was about to fuck you.

“Fuck me already.”

“Say it again.” He grumbled grabbing your chin, tilting your head up so he could attack your neck making you moan softly.

“Fuck me. Fuck me. Fuck me.” You begged into his ear as your fingers carded through his dark locks, spreading your legs a bit wider for him making him moan gruffly against your neck leaning back up to collide his lips with yours. 

You learned sleeping with Yukhei was lightyears different from sleeping with Mark. For once you didn’t feel like a cold lifeless body, you felt warm and alive wrapped around someone you thought was just a friend. He was reckless, careless, rough, and you couldn’t get enough of it. Mark was so gentle and careful, he acted like you were made of glass. Yukhei showed you no mercy. It was like he was trying to break you, and you loved it. 

“You’re so tiny.” He grunted wrapping his hands around your hips, snapping his hips into yours rhythmically before stopping his hips deep inside you with a rough groan. 

“You’re––fuck––you’re just big.” You whined lifting your head to look at where he buried inside you, your hand resting on your abdomen your jaw dropping when your felt the small bulge in your stomach moaning softly at the new feeling. He smirked down at your amazement, squeezing your hips softly looking down at you with a soft moan.

“God,” He slowly fucked into you, watching your stomach move with each slow thrust, “I can see my dick in you. That’s so fucking hot. You’re so fucking hot.” He groaned beginning snapping hips harshly into you once again, your head falling back with a loud moan wrapping your arms around his neck when he ducked down burying his face into the crook of your neck.

You whined loudly into his hair. He smelt like tangerines and cologne, something you weren’t expecting, of you were being honest, you thought he was going to smell like weed and Axe body spray. So, you were pleasantly surprised when he actually smelt nice. You always thought Yukhei was just some dumb horny boy who dropped out of college, you thought he came fast and couldn’t make girls cum, yeah, you judged him pretty hard based on a few interactions. That was pretty shitty of you. This situation was ten times more shitty of you, but you really weren’t thinking about that.

“Do–Do you know how bad I’ve been wanting to fuck you?” He whispered tilting his head up till his lips pressed against your cheek, his hips picking up momentum he starts to tentatively rock his hips back and forth. You ran your fingers through his locks, rocking your hips with his to get yourself off quicker. 

“I knew he didn’t fuck you right. I always knew I could fuck you better.”

Your brows knitted together as you let out an uncomfortable whine at the mention of Mark. You were on the brink of orgasm and the last thing you needed to think about was how you were cheating on your boyfriend. You dug your nails into his broad shoulders feeling his hand slid between your sweaty bodies to rub your clit. You arched up into him, your body beginning to shake a little at the euphoria building up quicker. The friction was maddening, and Yukhei chased it, snapping his hips forward with more vigor.

“You wanna cum, angel?” You nodded at the quiet question, whimpering softly as you turned your head to collide your lips with his quickly moaning loudly against his lips.

“Then do it.” The three words nearly got lost in the messy wet kiss, but thank god you heard him because you needed this more than anything. The orgasm was white and hot, you hadn’t felt like this in along time, it felt so fucking good to have an orgasm sober. Your whole body felt like you were floating, waves rolling though your body as your grip on his back dispersed whimpering softly as he fucked into you with no mercy. 

You squeaked softly into his neck with each rough thrust, his loud rough groans into the crook of your neck as he used you to finish himself off. You whined softly when he pulled out, feeling thick droplets of cum land on your stomach with a loud groan his forehead pressed against yours. You tried to catch your breath, both of your chests rising and falling out of sync as you held tightly onto his shoulders soft whimpers still falling from your lips. 

“Next time––”  
“There’s a going to be a next time?” You questioned raising your brows, his pretty eyes looking up at you nodding a little.

“Yeah. Yeah, if you want.” Your head fell to the side, your hands falling from his back to rest on your mattress.

“You were saying?” You whispered your eyes closing as he rolled off of you, feeling overwhelming tired and the guilt slowly creeping in.

“Next time, I’m going to cum in you.

“I’m not having your baby, Yukhei.” You mumbled shoving his chest softly, laughing softly looking up at him watching a sweet smile forming on his pretty lips.

“Maybe, now is a good time to start birth control.”

“Or we just use a condom next time.”

“Now that’s no fun.” He teased pulling back to pluck a few tissues off your bedside table to wipe your stomach down. 

Another thing you learned about Yukhei, he was a gentle giant after sex. His movements were soft and deliberate. He rolled you on your back to rub the tension out of your shoulders, not saying much besides whispering praises and sweet words of affection into your ear. You were really trying to feel guilty about this, you wanted to feel bad that you just cheated on your boyfriend of two years now.

But you didn’t. You felt barely anything.

 

_**[ Friday, 7:23 PM ]** _

 

You and Mark silently ate dinner in your apartment. You heated up Chinese leftovers and told him you made stir fry for him. He ate that shit up. 

You looked up at you boyfriend. Your fork mindlessly stabbed at the food, trying to find a connection, trying to find the spark you had a merger few days ago. But you couldn’t. There was nothing. It was like you were just staring at your friend not your loving boyfriend.

It just hurt. It hurt looking at him. You felt sick. It wasn’t because you cheated, that should be why but it wasn’t, it was because you weren’t in love with Mark anymore. Oh god, this hurt. This hurt so bad. You blinked a few times trying to keep the warm tears from rushing out, before putting your fork down with a small sigh looking down.

“You okay?” He asked quietly looking up at you, resting his fork on his plate as he raised his brows at you. You paused looking up at him with a small sigh, forcing a thin smile as you nodded a little your eyes a little glossy.

“Yeah. I’m fine.”

 

**_[ Saturday, 11:18 PM ]_ **

 

You were high. You were really fucking high. Doyoung gave you a a pale blue pill when you told him you had a lot going on, and it definitely helped you not feel anything. Mark had your back against the bathroom counter, holding tightly onto your hips as you kissed him sloppily moaning softly into his mouth.

“You’re such a good kisser.” You giggled into his mouth making him smile against your lips, his hands sliding up your back to support you body better as your head fell into his chest. He kissed the top of your head as you listened to his quick heartbeat.

“You want to go home?” He questioned his lips still pressed against the top of your head, holding tightly onto you. You didn’t say anything, you just held onto him slowly melting to your knees with a shake of your head.

“Want to…suck your dick.” You finally finished your hands beginning to pull his pants down, blinking hard a few times to get your vision straight. He must’ve seen the way your hands were struggling to pull his pants down, he shoved your hands away with a shake of his head.

“You don’t have to, baby.” He told you quietly as he ran a hand through your messy hair, one hand wrapped around your wrist trying to pull you up, but you shook your head. 

“I want to. I want to make you feel good.” You slurred trying to pull your hand out of his grasp, but he shook his head sighing softly.

“When you’re sober. I don’t want you to––”

“I don’t want to fuck you sober.” You snapped looking up at him feeling your eyes beginning to get wet as an overwhelming amount of emotions washed over you. Mark pursed his lips a little bit at your harsh words, holding tightly onto your hand sighing softly. There’s a heavy silence as he looked down at you, biting the inside of his cheek huffing quietly.

“And why not?” He asked you weakly. You swore you could see tears in his eyes, but only when the light hits them just right.

Another heavy silence as your head groaned loudly, your head falling back trying to avoid the topic and prevent tears falling down your flushed cheeks.

“I–I just don’t like it anymore.”

“Anymore?” He sounded so defeated. It hurt. It hurts so bad to see him like that. You furrowed your brows looking up at him, your hand wrapping around his wrist with a soft sniffle. The drugs in your system were making things so confusing, you swallowed thickly trying to get your thoughts together.

“Anymore.” You repeated slowly resting your head on his thigh, feeling his hand rest on the back of your head sighing softly. You sniffled softly as you felt him tangle his fingers into your hair, hearing him sigh quietly before pulling you up with a quiet swallow. He sniffled softly when you stood up, holding you by your arms to keep you steady. Now you could really see how wet his eyes were, tears were brimming in his eyes which made your chest want to explode. This hurt so bad.

“Do you still love me, ____?” It felt like months of silent dinners, too many nights of loveless love, and so many days of questioning whether you were happy or not was just overflowing onto the bathroom floor. You put your palm on his chest, sniffling softly as you felt that tears run down your cheeks as you stared at the concrete floors you were staining with tears.

“I dont–I don’t know know.” You finally admit after a moment of contemplating what to say, your eyes never leaving the ground sniffing quietly as you tucked your hair behind your ear. You swallowed thickly wiping your eyes with a quiet sniff, covering your face with your palm shaking your head a little bit.

“I don’t know. I really don’t, Mark. I’m sorry. I’m really––”

“Why are we still together then? Why are––Why are you wasting my time?”

“Wasting your time?” You repeated your eyes widened a little bit at his tone change, stepping out of his grasp to lean back on the sink trying to keep yourself stable.

“Wasting my time. I’ve given you two years, two whole years, of my life and you don’t even know if you love me?”

You rolled your eyes at his outburst, crossing your arms at him sighing harshly as you held tightly onto the counter.

“Is that why you won’t have sex with me?”

“Oh my god, I have sex with you.”

“We haven’t had sex sober in three months.” He snapped making your stomach drop. It couldn’t have been that long. No way, no, you didn’t believe him. You shook your head, your eyes everywhere but Mark.

“That’s–That’s not true.”

“Yeah. Yeah it is. I wouldn’t care if we didn’t have sex, I really wouldn’t, what bothers me is that we still have sex and it means nothing to you––”

“Because sex doesn’t meant anything, Mark! It’s––”

“That’s not how it’s suppose to be with us!” He yelled sending you staggering back, your eyes widening a little at his sudden increase in volume. He stared down at you, brows knitted together as he bit his bottom lip shaking his head a little bit. He inhaled deeply through his nose, biting the inside of his cheek as he looked around sighing softly.

“We were suppose to only make love.”

That was a stab in the chest.

“We promised we would only make love.”

That was the twist. You looked away from him when you felt your eyes get wet, your insides twisted into unbearable knots as you recalled the early months of your relationship. Everything was so full of light and love, you felt weightless not weighted down like you did constantly, everything was so easy back then, it wasn’t an act, it was real. 

“I know we did.” You whimpered wiping the corners of your eyes, guilt swallowing you whole when you finally saw the hurt in his eyes. “And I’m so sorry I couldn’t keep that promise.” You whispered wiping your eyes as the room was unbearable to be in anymore. That’s why you left. You walked out of the bathroom with dripping eyes and blurry vision, blindly finding your way out of the bathroom and into the hallway before wiping your eyes quickly sniffling a little as you took one second to collect yourself as you walked back into the dimly lit backroom. 

It’s cleared out a bit since you and Mark went into the bathroom. Doyoung was gone, Jaehyun and the girl he dragged along with him had left, all you could see was Yukhei and Taeil talking in the doorway that lead into main room of Moonlight and Johnny with his arm around his girlfriend talking to a pretty boy you didn’t really know. You wiped your eyes with the back of your palm, going to get your bag you had left on the end seat of one of the couches but a hand wrapped tightly around the crook of your elbow pulling you back a little.

“Let me take––”

“No, Mark. I–I can get a ride it’s fine.”

“We need to––”

“We don’t need to do anything. Just let me go, Mark.” You whispered trying to get out of his grasp while not trying to cause a scene. You hated being the center of attention here. If you were the center of attention at Moonlight you were most likely fucking someone, fighting someone, or doing something annoying stupid. You didn’t want that. “Please,” you whispered desperately looking up at him with pleading eyes taking a deep breath, “we’ll talk later, okay?” He blinks at you a few times before slowly letting you go with a quiet sigh nodding slowly.

“Call me when you get home, okay? So I know you got home safe.” How could someone be this kind after everything you put him through tonight, he still cared if you got home safely. You basically said you didn’t love him anymore, and you didn’t even bring up the fact you had cheated on him a few days ago. God, you didn’t want the conversation to ever happen.

“Okay, I will.” You assured with a nod completely detaching yourself from him.

 

///

 

Yukhei took you home, which wasn’t a surprise. His hand was heavy on your thigh, but you still intertwined your fingers with his playing with his long digits sighing quietly. A light rain tapped against his car as he pulled into your parking lot putting the car into park, looking out his window then back at you.

“You want to make out in the back seat?”

It felt like he was asking if you wanted to forget all the events that transpired tonight. Of course you wanted that.

“Yeah. Sure.” You deadpanned unbuckling to crawl into his roomy backseat, leaning back into the seats as he clumsily joined you leaning back against the door. You instinctively fell into his chest, sighing softly feeling his heartbeat against your cheek. He instinctively wrapped his arms around your waist pressing a kiss to the top of your head, his large hands rubbing up and down your back as you sighed quietly. “Rough night?” He whispered digging his fingers into your back humming softly trying to sooth your nerves. You simply nodded with a small huff looking up at the window counting the raindrops hitting it dully.

“I think Mark and I broke up.”

There’s a pause.

“Did––Did you tell him about us?” He sounded nervous, his fingers twitching against your skin. You shook your head.

“No. It was over something else. I think we grew apart.” It hurt to say that out loud, but you could feel him relax underneath him.

“I’m going to tell him about this though.” You blurted sitting up resting your hands on his thighs taking a deep breath when you felt him tense up again. “He deserves to know. It’s––It’s already shitty I basically broke up with him in the bathroom. It’d be really shitty if I didn’t tell him the whole truth.” You pushed your hair over your shoulder looking into his round eyes watching them soften at your words, glancing down with a small nod. His hand rested on the side of your face before resting on the back of your neck pulling you back onto his lap sighing quietly.

“Yeah,” he huffed his hand falling from it’s place on your neck before resting on your waist, you press a gentle kiss to his soft lips. He pulled back slowly his eyes looking down at you, biting the inside of his cheek before kissing you once again this time a little harder trying to get some control. You felt him pull you further into his chest, you pressed your palm against the window next to his head to stabilize yourself. His familiar touch ran all over your body, keeping your chest pressed against his as he squeezed your waist sighing quietly. “Are we bad people?” He whispered making you swallow thickly.

Yes, yes, you were.

“No. We’re not.”

 

_**[ Sunday, 4:32 PM ]** _

 

_Mark: hey, my class got cancelled on monday and i was just wondering if you wanted to get lunch? so we could talk?_

_You: yeah that’d be fine. can we go to that little cafe we went to a few months ago?_

_Mark: the one we went to for our one year anniversary?_

_You: yeah that one i like their sweet tea :)  
Mark: sweet tea is gross but ok_

_You: ….i mean alright i’ll see you monday fat head_

 

**_[ Monday, 12:22 PM ]_ **

 

“Give me a bite.”

“If you wanted it why didn’t you order it?”

“Because I wanted the fish and chips!” You laughed tapping your fork against your plate, hearing him laugh softly as he put a piece of chicken on your plate making you smile excitedly. You placed a fry on his plate in return, looking up at him with a small smile feeling a little lighter. This feels like old times. The good days. You shouldn’t cling to that for too long, you had to talk about what happened last Saturday. God, you really didn’t want to talk about last Saturday.

“Guess––Guess we should talk about the other night, yeah?”

You swallowed thickly not looking up from your plate, taking a bite of the chicken with a small nod.

“Yeah. We should.” But neither of you say anything. Just silently eat your meals. You dip your fry in the ketchup before sighing quietly, looking up at Mark biting your bottom lip.

“I––” You look down when he looks up from his plate, “I slept with Yukhei two weeks ago.” you finally blurt looking up at to see his reaction. He winced a little but just nodded, his face unreadable, but he didn’t look upset like you thought he would.

“I know.”

“You know?” Your brows knitted together in shock leaning in a little as he looked back down at his plate, his brows knitting together as he sawed through his orange chicken nodding a little as he took a bite putting his knife down pressing his fork against his lips.

“Jaehyun told me.”

“Jaehyun told you? How the fuck would Jaehyun know?” You didn’t mean to snap but you couldn’t help it. Was Yukhei telling people? Of course he was. What a fucking dick, holy shit. Mark looked around then back at you, eyes slightly wide and a little lost.

“I guess Yukhei told him? I’m pretty sure he told half of Moonlight at this point.” You swallowed at the thought of all of your friends knowing you cheated on your loving boyfriend. You felt sick and gross, god, fuck Yukhei. You rubbed your temples for a moment, taking a good five minutes to collect yourself before remembering this isn’t about you. Well, it kind of is, but it’s mainly about Mark. He was the one who was really hurt, fuck, you cheated on him and everyone knew about it he had to be hurting at least a little.

“I…I’m really sorry, Mark.”

He bit the inside of his cheek at your apology, slowly putting his fork down sighing quietly as he sat up a bit straighter looking up at you.

“I’m sorry for how I reacted last night.”

He’s sorry? He has no need to be sorry, you were the one who fucked up, you were the one who fell out of love with him, you were the one who cheated. It was all you. You should be begging him for forgiveness, but here he was apologizing for responding like anyone else would.

“You––You don’t need to apologize. I fucked up. I––I’m sorry. I’m really really sorry.”

“And it’s okay. It really is. I mean––I mean the cheating really fucking sucks, but if you’re not in love with me anymore––” He pauses itching the back of his head with a heavy sigh rubbing his bottom lip before taking a deep breath, “You can’t help that. You can’t help how you feel. And––And if you love Yukhei––”

“I don’t love Yukhei.” You bit your nails silently looking down at your food that suddenly looked unappetizing. “That’s gross. He’s gross.” You ramble picking at your nails sighing softly with a shake of your head.

“Thank god. I would’ve actually threw up if you were.” You couldn’t help but laugh a little bit at him making him laugh a little his head falling down to look at his plate, his doe eyes slowly looked up at you sighing softly as he looked into your eyes tilting his head a little bit.

“So…Is this it?” You swallowed thickly slowly pushing your plate away, the question leaving a bad taste in your mouth. This was it. You both had met a common ground, you didn’t have to pretend anymore, you both could be free, and do whatever you wanted. The thought was thrilling and nerve wrecking at the same time, but you were ready and you liked to believe Mark was too.

“I guess it is. Is it for you?”

There’s a slight pause before he reached over to put his hand on top of yours, his fingers lacing with yours nodding a little as he gave your hand a squeeze.

“I think it is.” 

You didn’t know a breakup could be so civil. It felt nice, but everything involving Mark was nice. You knew he’d be fine, he’d find someone else no problem, because he was a beautiful perfect human that you were lucky to have in your life. You knew he was going to stay in your life, he’d always be around if you needed him, you’d see him at Moonlight, if you could ever show your face there again, he’d always be there. You brought your intertwined fingers pressing your lips to his fingers, laughing softly when he ran his thumb over your knuckles making him smile sweetly.

“You know, I’ll always be there for you.”

You nodded with a watery smile, squeezing his hand tightly watching his eyes get a little wet.

“I know you will. I’ll always be there for you too. You’re––You’re my best friend, Mark.” You told him quietly hearing him take a deep breath, rubbing his eyes a little holding a little tighter onto your hand with a small sigh. “You’re my best friend too, _____. I––I love you.” You wiped your lash line quickly, smiling brightly slowly letting go of his hand, dabbing the inner corners of your eyes.

“I love you too.”

**Author's Note:**

> tumblr; wispyyukhei  
> other tumblr; pillpcpper  
> twitter; blushyukhei  
> <3 <3 <#


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